linguaphilia | [Golden Peacock IC Inbox][un: scribe] (defunct)

[ The change in the other's kisses has been gradual enough that Kaveh hasn't recognized it for what it is— until now, when he's been actively made aware of a difference through the other's words. But it's true that Alhaitham didn't always kiss him this way. Over time, he's become more attentive, more affectionate, has gone from curious to connected until it just became part of what was normal for them.

He's still marveling over it as Alhaitham tugs him into his lap, as he parts from the kiss to offer Kaveh that slight smile, those teasing words that bring a quick flush of color to the older man's cheeks. ]

Shut— shut up, I—

[ The loop of his arms tightens slightly around the other's shoulders, and he leans forward until their foreheads meet, a sigh of content on his lips as his eyes close.

He's been blind. ]

You kiss me like you love me, [ he murmurs. ] You have for a while.

[Their foreheads press together and Alhaitham nudges his own gently up towards Kaveh's, his eyes open as he looks up at him while he speaks.]

Mm.

[He could probably pinpoint when the change happened, if he thought about it. If he really wanted to. If it mattered. It doesn't, not really, so he doesn't waste the time. Right now it feels as if there are more important things to be thinking about than that.]

I've been waiting for you to notice.

[And even then, he still hadn't noticed, had he? It had taken him being mired in his own feelings before he said anything. Kaveh really was hopeless.]

You managed this sooner than I expected you would.

[ The last comment earns Alhaitham a shove from Kaveh; it's light-hearted though, and his scowl nowhere near as deep as it might normally be when the other man teases his capability for observation. How can he really be mad with him when his heart feels this light and full and giddy? (There'll be plenty of time for him to get mad later, and somehow that makes him even happier.) ]

You—!

[ But of course he has no words to clarify that, either, and so he just leans in to kiss him again, tongue sweeping along his lower lip and arms creeping a little more firmly around his neck. He shifts, getting himself more comfortable in Alhaitham's lap.

He thinks, actually, that he could do this all evening. ]

[As Kaveh wraps around him more firmly he does the same in turn, bringing both arms up around his back. There isn't too much time for him to get more comfortable on the younger scholar's lap before he's being pulled in and tipped backwards onto the bed they're sitting on.

The mattress creaks softly in protest at the sudden shift in weight. Alhaitham leans over the other man and looks down at him with a soft curiosity, almost touching their noses together.]

When was the last time you slept?

[Because, honestly, he expects this has been eating at Kaveh for a few days at least.]

[ He yelps as he's suddenly dragged and tipped back onto the bed, laughing softly when Alhaitham leans over him; there's a fond smile on his face as he reaches up to brush his fingers along the other's cheek in time with the near-brush of their noses—

and then Kaveh's cheeks turn red and his eyes slide to the side, no longer quite meeting Alhaitham's own. ]

Uh..

[ It's been a few days, if he's honest, since he slept properly, a fact that the dark circles under his eyes will corroborate. Nor has he eaten much, despite the smorgasbord of dishes he ordered after his failed plot to have Xie Lian transform in the name of making everything better.

But he also doesn't want to sleep now, not when his heart is racing with the excitement of the truth.

And yet...

He can't lie, can he? ]

I don't remember.

Then it's been more than long enough.

[He can surely be more overt about caring for Kaveh's health now, can't he? Alhaitham shifts to give the other man room to make himself more comfortable and reaches up to loosen the collar of his own shirt.]

We have time to talk about this more thoroughly later and do whatever we want to do about it then. [The younger man moves to sit up at the head of the bed, propping a pillow between his back and the headrail, and picks up a book from the small nightstand.]

So go to sleep. [He tilts his head, inviting Kaveh to get close to him.] I insist.

[ Of course, there's no hesitation at all in Kaveh's acceptance of the invite; he shifts in close and nestles himself into Alhaitham's side even as he picks up whatever book he's been reading. And despite himself, the comfort of the motion brings a soft yawn to his lips. But he still protests, shaking his head with a frown as he tries to peer up at the younger man from his current angle. ]

I don't want to sleep. Can't we talk first? There's always time to sleep later.

[ It's not the first time they've had similar arguments, either. Kaveh has, far too often, kept himself up night after night worrying about a commission or other project only for Alhaitham to all but force him into bed despite his loud complaints.

Mm. Alhaitham has been looking after him for a long time now, hasn't he? ]

Mm, we can talk.

[Until Kaveh falls asleep - and Alhaitham is quite sure he will now that he's cuddled himself up like that. He wraps his arm around the older man to make him comfortable and curls a hand around his arm, idly sliding his thumb back and forth. The book is propped up against one raised thigh but not opened yet.

There are always those small signs that he's paying attention.

He has looked after Kaveh in small ways. To say he never cared would be entirely incorrect - if he never cared, he would not have invited someone so noisy and dramatic and so at odds with his own personality into his home to begin with. He would not have kept quiet about the man's presence there even if Kaveh was incapable of keeping it to himself when he was drunk. He would not have done all those little things to keep an eye on him that the blond has always found so annoying.]

But close your eyes.

[ He's pretty sure he knows what Alhaitham is doing. But he also knows the other man well enough to expect that he'll refuse to talk if Kaveh doesn't play along, and so he's obedient, closing his eyes as he curls in that little closer to him.

(For someone so tall and lean, he's surprisingly comfortable.)

He yawns again, silently, as that thumb starts to travel back and forth along his arm, and suddenly he realizes that he has no idea what exactly he wanted to talk about. ]

Mm. My eyes are closed, Alhaitham. See? That means we can talk now.

[ Talk... that's right. About this, and what they want to do about it. ]

You said that no matter what happens here, your heart is mine.

[He isn't being subtle, but he knows that Kaveh will fall asleep eventually if he's comfortable and tired. His thumb continues rolling idly back and forth and he opens his book with his free hand. It's a good thing that the books he opens are entirely normal now - the inconvenience posed to him on his arrival here had thankfully disappeared after a few weeks.]

I did say that.

[And Althaitham is not somebody who says things he doesn't mean without reason. Especially something like that, which he has certainly never said to anybody before.]

What of it..?

[ He yawns. Right, he said that— what of it indeed? Even with his eyes closed, Kaveh's brows furrow in thought. ]

I... Mm, I think I was too busy being happy about it to tell you that it's the same for me too.

[ Was that it? It's hard for Kaveh to say; it's like his brain is falling asleep ahead of him.

His lip juts. ]

No fair. You're making me sleepy, you know I can't think like this, Alhaitham..

I am well aware.

[Which is of course why he chose this position, why he insisted on it, and why he is now lightly weaving the fingers of his free hand into Kaveh's hair to gently scratch at his scalp.

There is little use trying to talk about any of this when the man is exhausted. He's far more likely to become emotional and irrational on too little sleep.]

You can stop fighting it. I'm not going to go anywhere.

[Indeed, Kaveh could expect Alhaitham to be in much the same position when he does wake up, though a ways further along in his reading.]

I know, but...

[ But it's pointless. Despite his best efforts, he finds himself quickly dozing off, caving to the sleep so easily overtaking him as Alhaitham soothes him by stroking his hair, stays close and warm and comfortable, giving him all the love and affection he could ever want just by being her. He's happy, happier than he's known how to be in a long time, and it's the biggest drive toward him falling asleep after days of stress and anxiety.

Another yawn, and Kaveh falls asleep mid-complaint.

He wakes a few hours later, and technically he's still short on sleep, but he feels better rested than he has in at least weeks, eyes opening and head tilting so he can peer up at the other man with a lazy, contented smile. Usually it takes Kaveh a while to slip out of dreamland, but this time he wakes with memory intact and a smile on his lips. ]

Hi.

[While Kaveh sleeps, Alhaitham reads his book. It isn't as if he's never spent time in such a way when he had company... though never with said company cuddled up so closely against him.

He does doze for a little while somewhere in the middle - an hour or so, perhaps - but he's wide awake when Kaveh finally opens his eyes and looks up at him with that smile. Alhaitham returns his gaze and curls a lock of blond hair around his finger.]

Hey.

[ Kaveh's lazy smile only broadens when Alhaitham reaches to curl a lock of hair around his finger, his own hand lifting to curve fingers over the other's to hold it in place, then tilting his head slightly so he can press his lips against that pale skin. ]

How long have I been asleep?

[ And then, in a kind of soft, belated wonderment: ]

I can't believe I actually told you.

[ It's more than that, too. He can't believe Alhaitham answered him the way he dreamed; he can't believe they're lying together like this— ]

A few hours.

[Eventually they would have had to move, if only because Alhaitham would have grown uncomfortable with the position, but he finds the discomfort in the arm that Kaveh is leaning on to be fairly negligible for the moment.

Then he chuffs out a soft sound. It's almost a laugh, but not quite.]

I can't believe you told me, either. [He had expected a few more weeks of pining at least.] But... it is good that you did.

Mm, not bad.

[ He knows it's not enough in the long run— that more sleep is definitely necessary after a few days without. But at least for now, he feels good. Rested, content. It's a feeling that warms his chest, and it only does so all the more when Alhaitham makes that almost-laugh of a sound. ]

It is good.

[ He wants to kiss him, he thinks, and it's a pull strong enough to inspire him to sit up where part of him wants to stay snuggled in; so he shifts so that he's sitting up once more and presses his lips to the underside of Alhaitham's chin. ]

Are you at a good pausing point in your reading? [ he murmurs, and purses his lips into the skin once more. ]

[The response is instant. There is the faint shift of his gaze as he mentally notes the page number he's on and then the soft snap of the book being closed.]

Mhm.

[And the book, it seems, is all but entirely forgotten, set to one side as he shifts position and gently rolls Kaveh back against the sheets, leaning up over him and pushing one hand up into his hair. When their lips meet it's soft and sweet, patient, Alhaitham's head tilted just so and a moment given for the blond man to get past his surprise before Alhaitham softly, softly nips against his lower lip.]

I am.

[ Kaveh's response to being so suddenly upended into the sheets is a yelp, although it's very much a happy one, his arms immediately lifting to circle Alhaitham's shoulders, his eagerness all too evident in the way he pulls his close. And where the younger is soft and sweet and patient, the older is all nervous energy and excitement, his nose bumping up against the scribe's in almost the exact same moment that he pulls away. ]

Okay, [ he whispers. ] Good.

[ And he leans up to close that space between them, kissing him once more. Right now, all he can think about is spending the rest of the day just like this. He doesn't need anything else. ]

Mm.

[He can feel it - all that anxious energy buzzing through the other man's body as he leans into him. Well, he'll just have to distract him from all that anxiety, won't he? As it happens Alhaitham has no problem with staying here all day either.

The scribe fits his body against Kaveh's, cupping one side of his face with one hand while he props himself up with the other forearm. He breathes in soft and slow, taking the moments between kisses to inhale, subtly allowing Kaveh to lead them to exactly where he wants them to be.

Of course, he could have done this a while ago. He could have said something when he first realised, but he's quite sure that it would not have gone as well as it did with Kaveh bringing it up on his own.]

[ A contented sigh finds Kaveh's lips when Alhaitham shifts to fit their bodies together; in answer, one hand settles over the back of the younger man's neck, fingers pressing into the skin like some sort of anchor. And where his energy is hurried and anxious, the slow tickle of breath against his lips helps to steady his heartbeat; the pauses for breath between kisses offering grounding and stability.

Or— and there's an odd kind of clarity in his mind as he realizes it— maybe that's not the kisses at all, but just Alhaitham himself. Strong and stable and solid and sensible where Kaveh has always needed him to be.

And his mind goes all the way back to the night they first met again after their fight, the effortless grace with which the younger offered his home as a place for Kaveh to stay, the way Kaveh, who even then kept his secrets behind tightly locked lips, spilled everything to him within moments of being with him again.

Was it really because he didn't care?

He feels tears sting the corners of his eyes, but he ignores them, tugging the younger man in closer to him and letting himself settle into the headiness of those kisses. ]

[Honestly, what reason has he to be so nervous? Alhaitham muses on it but hardly needs to ask the question - when it comes to this kind of thing of course Kaveh would be nervous. He's probably already bracing for Alhaitham to suddenly decide that it was all a terrible mistake.

The scribe had always cared. Always in his distant, practical way. A way that Kaveh would have had difficulty seeing if it was right in front of his face with how he approaches everything so emotionally. He expects that it has suddenly become very clear, all of a sudden... Alhaitham had always cared about him. Of course he had. How could he not?]

Don't cry.

[He murmurs it softly, as far away from an admonishment as it could possibly be as the pad of his thumb presses gently against the corner of Kaveh's eye.]

What's bothering you?

[ Their kiss is broken for a thumb to be pressed against a stray tear, a gentle-soft murmur of assurance on Alhaitham's lips, and Kaveh sighs, head tilting into that touch even as he offers him a teary smile. ]

Nothing's bothering me, [ is his murmured reply, but even he recognizes that that's not entirely true, and after a moment he sighs again, his brows creasing just slightly. ] I'm just...

[ Kaveh bites his lip, thoughtful. How is he meant to describe it? ]

I feel like I've been blind this whole time... but not you. You've... always seen me, Alhaitham.

[ It's a statement more than a question, a belated understanding of the truth more than a search for confirmation. No matter what happened, Alhaitham was there to catch him, is still here even now, and...

He feels the fool. ]

Tch...

[>Foolish man. Ridiculous, so convinced of his own inferiority that he couldn't even conceive of getting this kind of attention from anyone, let alone from Alhaitham.

Gently, he bumps the tips of their noses together.]

You make yourself exceedingly difficult to ignore.

[He's said it all before. Kaveh is noisy and emotional, irritating, stubborn, but brilliant and bright and Alhaitham loves him in spite of that. Because of that. Of course, he knows what Kaveh means. He knows that it isn't that, but... he chides the man gently anyway, if only in an effort to make him laugh.]

I have always seen you. Even when you would have wanted nothing more than for me to do anything else.

[ But did Kaveh want anything else? He supposes he must have, he knows he did— and yet all of that seems so far away from them now, like a bad dream.

(And he knows he's being stupid, that he's caught up in the romanticism of the moment and mentally erasing the bad in favor of the good, but he doesn't really care.)

Besides, none of that matters right now when Alhaitham has succeeded in his goal, making Kaveh laugh— and then roll his eyes, hands bracing against the younger's chest as if to push him, when really all he wants to do is keep him close. ]

I know you're trying to say I'm loud, but I'm just going to take "difficult to ignore" as me being so devastatingly attractive that you can't take your eyes off me.

[ He finishes it with a brilliant smile, sly, as if daring Alhaitham to disagree. ]

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